How can I label others less and avoid being limited by their labels?

Begin reducing labels by admitting, “I may not yet understand this person.” Classifying and defining someone after seeing only a small part easily turns your imagination into the whole picture. Even flattering judgments can do this. When you feel you are upholding justice, pause a few seconds and consider why the person acted that way and whether there are circumstances you have not seen. This does not mean immediately making excuses. When discussing religious people being dismissed as superstitious, I once casually criticized scientists, then immediately realized I too was labeling. Those misunderstood can make the same mistake.

My son raised the issue of seats on the metro: someone who looks young and physically able may have an invisible discomfort that means they need to sit. This does not describe every young passenger; it means appearance alone is insufficient. Buying something expensive may mean saving for a durable item or planning a monthly treat. Criticizing someone as extravagant based only on age, clothing or price may reveal little about their actual life.

Occupations also invite preconceptions. I previously worked in insurance. After changing jobs, I could invite a friend to a meal and still be assumed to be selling something. Some people do sell that way, but not everyone in the industry does so at every meeting. Conversely, immediately assuming someone must be highly capable because they are a doctor, teacher or lawyer is also labeling. I once used a television plot in which someone said they were a doctor and was later revealed to be a veterinarian. The point was that a shared title still requires understanding the actual field, not that veterinarians are inferior. School and class names likewise cannot replace knowing a person.

If you are the one being labeled, begin by knowing yourself and doing what you should. Other people’s stereotypes may not change immediately. Still, if you know who misunderstands you and it is affecting you, you can explain to them, friends or classmates. You are allowed to respond. Explanations sometimes have limited power, however, and people may also need to know you gradually through actual conduct and interaction.

I also value the ability of people who do not want to keep arguing yet are not controlled by others’ opinions. Doing your part is about responsibility to yourself, not merely exchanging it for praise. At the same time, examine whether a casual remark of yours defines someone else and demands they become what you imagine.

I use “everything is arranged for the best” to encourage learning from experience. That does not mean accepting every hostile label. If a description fits you, there may be no need to tear it off every time. If it does not fit and leaves you trapped, you can seek help. Telling someone simply to be themselves must not require them to bear every attack alone.

This outlook can gradually form among colleagues. One person first considers a coworker strange. Several discuss it, and eventually everyone sees the coworker that way. Anything the person does may then be interpreted as “See, they really are strange.” The original impression deepens while nobody takes time to understand them.

Allowing another perspective may reveal that the person simply has their own personality and ideas. Your dislike of someone need not become everyone’s conclusion about them. When I discuss this example in terms of energy, I am also reminding people that how we see and interact with someone affects the relationship. Do not reject someone while blaming only them for becoming harder to get along with.

I too have been influenced by a friend’s account. She brought a male client for divination and first said many negative things about him. Before meeting him, I already thought poorly of him without noticing it. Later interaction showed me he was very different from that description. I also learned they had experienced difficulties in partnership and getting along. Thinking a friend is straightforward and trustworthy does not mean her account is the whole of another person.

The same applies to sexual orientation. Referring to an account of an interview, I once discussed “Even if someone is gay, so what?” If you already regard an identity as bad, your response easily carries prejudice. This concerns how we see people, not confirmation of the sexual orientation of someone mentioned in rumors. Do not rank people by identity or judge an entire person based on hearsay.