Why should I seek help when facing bullying or mistreatment?

Tell someone you trust when facing bullying or mistreatment instead of keeping pain inside. Fear, embarrassment, or reluctance to worry family may make speaking difficult, but you need not wait until you can no longer cope before seeking help.

Discussing classmates with my children, I sometimes suggested that someone might care about them, feel jealous, or want attention, hoping they would not assume something was wrong with themselves. Qian Qian described classmates seeing Sheng Zhen Men's sign, drawing symbols, joking about the family's faith, and even mentioning bombing. She became angry, worried, and unwilling to attend school. I thought it might be mischief or attention-seeking, but that was my interpretation. Bullying does not always have the same cause, and a religious ritual cannot resolve every conflict between classmates.

Adults thinking something unimportant must not mean overlooking a child's real fear. Speaking takes courage. Parents need to understand what frightens the child, whether it keeps happening, and its severity, involving schoolteachers when needed. Saying 'It is all right' and returning the child to the same situation is insufficient. Without properly understanding earlier events, the next school-bus ride or school day may bring renewed fear. Enter the child's daily perspective to understand why it matters so much.

YOYO described a primary-school seatmate repeatedly touching her head during health exercises. After two or three days, directly asking him to stop had not helped, so she phoned her father. Initially he also thought it was ordinary mischief, but after learning it was repeated, he came to the school. Elders need to respond to such requests so children know help exists, rather than leaving only thoughts of revenge or hitting back.

We discussed news of students harming a classmate with a harmful substance. I had assumed it difficult to obtain until Qian Qian mentioned familiar toy materials, reminding me that adults cannot dismiss everything as children's play. If classmates discuss harming someone in a group chat, not personally acting does not make it irrelevant. Tell adults and teachers for serious attention and education. Still, distinguish each person's actions and responsibilities. All who knew or belonged to the chat cannot be treated as having done the same thing.

I also reminded children not to drink a beverage after it has left their sight or accept one from someone unclear to them merely out of embarrassment. This teaches everyday self-protection, not blame after harm. Parents should help children discern situations rather than encourage violence or simply tell them to think differently on their own.

We discussed anti-bullying groups' reminders and recounted Yen Cheng-kuo's reflections on being bullied at school. Instead of turning to parents or teachers, he sought gang protection and later felt life might have differed had he sought help then. When needing support, consider whether the strength sought genuinely protects you or draws you into another problem.

Speak about what is wrong rather than maintaining an appearance that everything is fine. A fellow practitioner also shared such a reminder from the Great Sage: people around you need to know the situation to offer help. Requests need not wait for severity, and concern about bothering someone does not mean remaining silent about everything.

Do not first take all responsibility upon yourself when bullied or experiencing domestic violence. Turn to trusted relatives or friends when afraid. Young people can also seek teachers or school institutions, and social organizations can help. We can provide faith-based support and introduce resources, not fight back on someone's behalf. Tell a trusted person and find companionship in understanding the situation rather than bearing it alone.

Faith-based concern for a child's state must not become blame when school harm occurs. We may not know the full events and cannot say that mistreatment proves something wrong with the child. Children need company in handling it: informing teachers, support from classmates and parents, and, if necessary, considering another environment. Practical assistance cannot be replaced with one instruction to change perspective.