How can I protect myself and seek help when facing domestic violence?

Do not carry domestic violence alone or first blame yourself. Seek help where possible and protect yourself from immediate danger. The programme mentioned Taiwan’s 113 domestic violence line, 110 when needed, trusted friends or relatives, school teachers and services for young people, friends or organisations for workers, and moving out for adults able to live independently.

A speaker said 113 offered Mandarin, Taiwanese, English, Vietnamese, Thai, Indonesian and Cambodian, with advice or referral and police notification in emergencies, sometimes social workers accompanying assistance. Another said they had heard responders were trained to understand indirect descriptions from frightened callers unable to speak openly. Someone also described social-worker contact within three days, follow-up within ten and assessment. These were participants’ accounts of what they knew then. The programme encouraged beginning with a call and gathering courage to face and leave the situation, even when courage initially felt absent.

If unsure whom to ask, first seek reasonable relatives or friends. If those around you are also unreasonable, you may need to find another way to save yourself. I have said protection is essential when violence becomes extreme. We also offered to hear people unsure where to turn, refer social agencies and help call 113 if embarrassment prevented it. We cannot retaliate physically for you, but can pray for protection.

Adults with capacity can move out because they cannot stop another person’s violence. If mother is also abused and recognises the need to end it, leaving together may be possible, but some mothers lack capacity to resist, so understand her condition. First protect yourself to gain strength to help her. When family cannot protect you, do what you can or seek assistance. Leaving is not unfilial. Leave while unable to resist, then consider repairing the relationship when stronger and violence has stopped.

If mother is abused, I said she needs courage to face it to protect herself and children. If both adults use violence, a child may depend on a teacher noticing changed behaviour or neighbours hearing daily crying. Outsiders should offer as much help as possible.

I discussed protection orders while noting news where they seemed ineffective, so personal safety still requires care. After applying, remain alert rather than assume extreme acts impossible. Threats to life call for greater caution and police assistance where available; if they cannot help, personal protection remains necessary. I also said legal limits sometimes fail to protect, not that police all refuse to act: rules constrain them.

Do not assume violence is all your fault or caused by you. The programme said many problems belong to the other person and should not be carried by you. Children’s lives are their own, not parental possessions. Giving life does not grant a right to beat them, with or without a claimed reason. Some justify abuse through past-life karma. I do not know what I did before; even if karma exists, protection remains necessary now, not willing acceptance of everything. Protecting oneself also does not mean hitting back.

I know advice is easy for outsiders and may be hard to follow. Those involved may think differently. Families hide shame, and someone may say a father still loves them and supported them into their thirties, becoming accustomed to excusing him. This is a very difficult lesson, but my basic advice remains seeking help.

A violent relative may have difficulties such as inability to control emotions. I knew an elder who beat wife and children whenever drunk. Someone suggested help with stopping alcohol misuse as another response. Those around a person violent when drinking may need to consider leaving before it begins. I find that deeply distressing.