Communication and Boundaries
After a discussion seems resolved, should we still confirm our conclusions with each other?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
It helps to confirm once more, especially when a third person has passed along a message or detailed matters have been discussed by voice message. You may think you explained clearly while the other person reached a different conclusion. Restating the agreement before finishing makes things clearer.
Dao Xuan shared an experience of asking the person directly to clarify a problem involving relayed messages and thinking everything was settled afterwards. A few days later, the person replayed the voice messages, felt increasingly uncomfortable and responded more emotionally. Dao Xuan reconsidered whether the wording could have been gentler and whether a final confirmation had been missing.
The lesson was to restate the conclusion with the other person, confirming where the discussion stands and whether both feel it has been resolved. Details prone to misunderstanding can also be confirmed in writing. If understanding still differs, continue explaining. Saying ‘It is all right now’ yourself does not mean the other person’s feelings have also settled.