Why should a child’s resentment of a classmate not simply be dismissed as children fooling around?

Disliking a classmate and physically harming them are different matters. They cannot simply be called children fooling around. When Qian Qian and I discussed news of a student harming a classmate, she said she too disliked some people but would not therefore think of poisoning them. What worried me was how lightly people in that report spoke of someone’s injury or life and death, as if revenge were insignificant, without admitting wrongdoing. Such thinking needs serious attention.

Looking at what preceded it, a child might be upset or feel a friend has been taken away, yet not know how to handle the feeling and use whatever means are available to attack another person. This describes that event, not every unhappy child. Children need to learn how to face resentment, rather than believing displeasure makes revenge acceptable.

Parents need to listen regularly and ask whether their children are happy at school. Knowing what is happening allows them to analyze, guide and deal with it together. If an incident occurs, elders and school counselors need to face it and educate rather than dismiss it as “not so serious.” A bullied child needs care. A child wanting to bully someone also needs someone to notice and help correct the harmful thinking inside.