How can we practice pausing and breathing before replying in anger?

When angry and eager to answer back, do not speak immediately. Pause for three seconds, thirty seconds, or a few minutes and consider the result of saying it. Sometimes a wish to prove yourself right turns into an argument as soon as you speak.

I discussed news of an argument between a shop and a delivery worker. A few angry words may feel relieving then but later affect reputation and employment and cause more disputes. The cost of one or two satisfying minutes may exceed expectations.

YOYO shared her practice: when emotions rise, take two or three deep breaths, say nothing briefly, and observe what the other person next wants to say or do. Through practice, she found that slowing down gradually reduced her agitation.

If you still cannot shift your thinking, try the other person’s position. A shop may be rushing to prepare food while the delivery worker waits, with longer waiting affecting income. Both face difficulties. Considering the other person more may change your feelings.

When driving, I also find sudden erratic turns dangerous. I practice thinking that perhaps the person genuinely has an emergency. That adjusts my emotions without removing responsibility for dangerous driving. Even when right, you need not relentlessly pursue the other person. Settle first, then respond, and it becomes easier to explain clearly.

If the other person is angry and you want silence or to leave briefly, explain first: “I do want to deal with this, but I need to calm down now. Let’s talk in a little while.” This leaves room for communication. Total silence or leaving without a word may appear cold and increase anger. Stating your need for time, without immediately criticizing their state, and agreeing to return later differs from avoiding the problem.