Everyday Life
How can family discuss differing views of ancestors and rites for the deceased?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
Different levels of participation in worship need not begin in conflict. I have said infrequent but continuing ancestor worship is possible. But however upset you are, do not smash the tablet. Even before religious consequences, this may hurt a partner who feels their parents and ancestors are disrespected.
So consider family feelings now as well as the unseen world. Reincarnation, past lives and souls are another faith understanding, not grounds to assign compulsory responsibilities to relatives or determine a loved one’s destination from a few stories. Respect worship and care for family relationships.
Discuss arrangements after death while there is still time. What does the person want? What uncertainties or worries do family have about cremation, natural burial and placement? Some find returning to the sea freeing; others fear having nowhere for remembrance. Clarifying differing views and reaching understanding prevents well-intentioned arrangements later becoming distress.