Relationships
Does lack of parental help with housing and children mean a marriage is unsuitable?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
A couple should first consider their own ability to buy housing and raise children, rather than assuming parents will fund a down payment, provide money, or care for children. Be grateful for willing help, but lack of those resources does not make the other family bad.
I discussed an online account of a woman who liked her boyfriend but worried about no parental resources after marriage and taking on difficult family work, ultimately separating. My view then was that the couple would live in the house and the children were theirs: why must parents pay? My parents did not prepare a housing down payment when I established my own family either.
However, the original family still deserves understanding. Will your wishes be respected? Are family debts or work genuinely being imposed? Clarify rather than imagine, while not pretending practical issues do not exist.
I finally said her choice was difficult to judge simply right or wrong; some might see self-protection. What matters is compatibility in values, money use, and desired life. With large unresolved differences, favorable qualifications alone should not force marriage.