After receiving a temple’s help, must we return every year or even become monastics as expected?

Gratitude matters, but an experience of receiving help need not restrict the rest of life to one arrangement. Thanking those who helped differs from always having to return to the same place or accept an identity others assign.

Dao Shun and I discussed an online story about a monastery sheltering expectant mothers after an earthquake. The children later became known as “Arhat babies,” and parents brought them back annually for birthdays. According to the report we read, a monk later asked parents not to keep doing this every year, because each child had their own path and he did not want the connection to become pressure.

I understand the parents’ gratitude and greatly appreciate the monk’s concern for the children’s future. If the unusual birth story is continually emphasized, might the children grow up feeling they must return or become monastics to repay the kindness? This was the question we discussed, not a claim that returning to give thanks is itself bad.

Even through faith, a special connection with deities or Buddhas does not allow us to declare that someone must devote this lifetime to guiding others. Everyone still has their own lessons, life, and choices. Treasure the connection and move forward gratefully, without turning gratitude into demands limiting another person’s life.