After a family death, may I visit friends or temples?

If there has been a death in the family and you wish to visit a friend’s home or a temple, it is best to ask about their customs first. It is not enough to say that you personally do not mind. Respect the host or temple as well. Some places welcome bereaved families to draw close to deities and Buddhas, while others are more concerned about visits from those in close mourning. Follow the arrangements of the place concerned.

People may come to worship at Sheng Zhen Men, but we first help with purification. In my understanding, compassionate acceptance by a deity and the possibility of conflict involving a person’s energy are separate matters. When discussing energy associated with mourning, we still address it from the perspective of religious energy. Hearing that you are welcome does not mean omitting the work of cleansing and purifying yourself.

After attending a funeral, I have described using cleansing water or a purification spray when leaving the funeral home or mourning hall, followed by cleansing body wash at home. However, close relatives have a stronger connection, and sometimes spraying alone may have a limited effect. We still need to consider the individual’s condition. Not everyone is affected in the same way, and performing the same action does not guarantee that everything has been fully addressed.

Even after the funeral and burial are over, it is not appropriate to judge solely by a fixed number of days. I once compared the gradual dispersal of perfume with the transformation of energy understood in the traditional three-year mourning period. This was not a requirement that everyone wait three years before going out. If you feel affected, you can learn more about the situation and seek purification. Where needed, divination can also help assess what is suitable next.

I have also said that temple customs are changing. Traditions centred on the Mother or Guanyin often have fewer such restrictions, while some traditional temples retain them. That was my observation at the time, not a basis for deciding every temple’s rules simply from its principal deity. Dao Shun shared an experience of explaining a death in the family and asking for purification before entering to worship. The point is to communicate clearly and respect the actual arrangements, rather than interpret sadness or bereavement as meaning that deities do not love you.