Why am I especially cautious about wishes at departed-spirit shrines and forgotten return offerings?

I am cautious because, earlier in life, I personally asked for help with money and then forgot to fulfil the vow I had made in return. That experience is why I remind people not to make casual promises simply because they hear that wishes are granted quickly somewhere. First think carefully about what you are promising and how you will follow through.

At the time I was working in sales. A friend said that praying for financial help at a young woman’s spirit shrine in Shenkeng was very helpful, so we went there together. Afterwards, my sales seemed to go more smoothly, but I forgot to go back and fulfil my vow. After a while, sales became difficult again. In a conversation with the friend who had gone with me, I remembered that I had not yet fulfilled it. I quickly returned to express my thanks, and afterwards my sales returned to normal. This was my own experience, and from the perspective of my faith it made me take the promises I had made more seriously.

YOYO also shared that she had made a wish in Thailand concerning a sales target. She reached it ahead of time, but because work was busy and travelling abroad was inconvenient, she thought she would return to fulfil her vow later. Then she encountered some difficulties and came to me to understand and address them. Her experience differed from mine, but both remind us of something: when making a wish, we feel certain that we will remember. Once things go well, however, we may start feeling that it is still not enough or decide to wait a little longer.

When discussing this kind of prayer, I use an exchange of benefits to explain why we need to be careful. What we consider sufficient to count as achieving a goal may not be the same as how much help we understand the other party to have already given within that faith relationship. We cannot take one amount of money, one multiplier or one deadline and assume that every situation follows the same standard.

This does not mean that all shrines for departed spirits are bad or that we cannot pay our respects when passing one. While travelling, it is fine to respect local beliefs and worship politely. We do not need to make wishes and ask for things everywhere we go. When there is a real need, I generally suggest praying to orthodox deities, Buddhas or Bodhisattvas whom we understand. Keep the faith relationship simpler instead of constantly chasing whichever result seems fastest.

Likewise, visiting Zinan Temple does not mean that you must borrow prosperity money or obtain a golden chicken. I borrowed prosperity money when I was young, and I did not feel that my financial luck was particularly good at the time. I have also said that many conditions affect a person’s financial fortune. If you are afraid of forgetting to repay it or are unsure whether you can fulfil a commitment, it is also fine simply to worship and explain your wish clearly.

On the other hand, once you have borrowed, remember what you promised. Dao Fan spoke about family members receiving a tactful reminder from the temple. I think this is also a way of encouraging people to return and express gratitude, while allowing the money to continue circulating. We cannot treat our own commitments as something we may ignore just because deities are compassionate.