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When emotions arise, how can I first understand myself?

• emotions
• awareness
• mood

First notice what is happening within you now. Are you afraid, hurt, or low, or does your mind keep circling something you cannot release? Noticing emotions when they first arise helps you avoid discovering only after hurtful words or an impulsive decision that they have carried you away. Also ask whether you are genuinely happy or merely going along with others while unwilling inside.

How does YOYO settle emotions before returning to deal with a relationship?

I often remind people that when emotions arise with family or a partner, the conversation does not have to happen immediately. Wait until everyone is more relaxed, perhaps after a meal or during a walk, then explain why those words felt uncomfortable and what wording you could understand more easily. Once feelings settle, it is easier to hear the other person and make your own meaning clear.

Why do I need to process my own emotions when I often listen to friends’ troubles?

• listening
• sharing troubles
• emotions

Listening to friends’ troubles can affect your own mood too. Willingness to care is good, but afterwards you also need to know how to adjust your emotions. Some friends have told me that because they are usually cheerful and positive, many people enjoy talking to them and sharing their worries. After listening to a great deal, however, they also need to process their own feelings.

Why should funeral and mortuary restoration workers also care for their energy and emotions?

• funeral work
• mortuary restoration
• purification

In my experience of religious services, I understand these influences in terms of fearful and painful energy remaining at the scene and with the bodies. If you frequently work in these settings, pay particular attention to whether you are becoming increasingly low in spirits, inexplicably irritable, or impatient with family and colleagues. Sadness and tears are normal emotions and can have an outlet, but also consider whether that sadness keeps carrying you along.

Does struggling to manage time and emotions mean my existence has no value?

• education, life’s value and upbringing

You do not need perfection before having value. Unstable emotions and difficulties in life can continue to be learned and adjusted, but cannot mean the world does not need you.

Do physical discomfort, voices, or unusual emotions mean spirit interference, spiritual pressure, or a need for medical care?

• seeing a doctor
• hearing voices
• auditory experiences

First attend to your body and safety and see a doctor when ill. Chest tightness, insomnia, tiredness, sudden emotional changes, or hearing voices cannot individually establish spirit interference or pressure from the spirit on the body. Seeking religious assistance alongside care does not justify abandoning medical advice, medication, or treatment on your own.

Why face anger, fear, and inner darkness rather than keep suppressing them?

• fear
• being afraid
• anger

Begin by being willing to see anger, fear, and the parts you avoid, rather than pretend they do not exist. Suppression and silence do not make a problem disappear. Having emotions also does not immediately mean spiritual attachment or being bad. Understand where you were hurt and what remains difficult to release.

How should I respond when children cry, protest or say the opposite of what they mean?

• crying and tantrums
• contrary words
• children’s emotions

Listen to children and observe your emotions. If crying immediately makes you angry, hitting may already be venting rather than teaching. Understand what happened and what triggered you. “What are you making a fuss about?” should not end discussion.

Why do I advise against constantly fighting a demonic test?

• demonic tests
• diligence
• awareness

Conscious awareness is essential. Are you unusually irritated, impatient, or drawn by a negative thought? I also use negative emotions symbolically for demonic strength to prompt self-awareness. This does not mean every unhappiness involves an outside demon.

Does contemplating emptiness mean pretending nothing happened?

• contemplating emptiness
• acceptance
• endurance

Some situations cannot be changed immediately. Retain concern and compassion while learning not to remain immersed in heavy emotions. Calm after understanding differs from pretending ignorance.

Is it all my fault if someone becomes angry when I remind them to repay a loan?

• Repayment
• Lending money
• Guilt

This also reminds us to be cautious before lending money. Wanting to help is kind, but when money is involved, you still need to look back carefully at what happened. Someone else's emotions do not mean you must count all those feelings as your own fault.

When I feel very irritated, can I ask people around me for some space?

• emotions
• irritation
• space

Yes, and it is best to first explain that you are not feeling well emotionally and need time to collect yourself. When already irritated, continual talking or urging from others may worsen it. Explaining your need for space gives the emotions a chance to ease.

Does continually reasoning with frightened friends or relatives help?

• friends and relatives
• fear
• emotions

Discussing frightened relatives and friends during the pandemic, Dao Fan said emotions should be addressed before events. Those with faith can pray and seek strength from the deity they follow. Those without religious belief can also practise stillness or meditation to settle themselves. I agree with that central point: when fear fills the heart, clear judgment truly becomes difficult.

When a child starting elementary school is anxious and afraid of the teacher, are they necessarily misbehaving?

• Starting school and adults' emotions

So we need to examine both whether the child has difficulties requiring understanding and whether the adult's emotions have become uncontrolled. Frightening a child into submission or hurting them cannot simply be called teaching rules well.

How can adults stop when anger is about to turn into hitting a child or using hurtful words?

• Parents' emotions
• Hitting children
• A single moment of choice

When emotions rise, find another perspective or substitute rather than ignite negativity. In my childhood environment, many children swore when upset or ready to explode, and I considered it normal too. My aunt taught us to replace swear words with fruit, such as 'you smelly banana' or 'you rotten apple,' saying this was better. But friends I discussed it with felt swearing was more satisfying and 'smelly banana' had little effect. This method therefore works differently for different people.

How can an ordinary person begin spiritual practice?

• Consistency
• Diligence in practice
• Effort

When something interferes with you, do not remain stuck struggling against it. Imagine trying to climb upward while someone below pulls at you. If you keep turning back to fight them, you stop moving too. Continue with the practice you need to do, such as reciting scriptures and sitting in meditation, while also adjusting your attitude. If you notice that you keep getting caught in negative emotions, recognize it and try to change that state rather than being carried along by your emotions.

What is the difference between making a spiritual vow and making a wish?

• The power of vows
• Great vows
• Making a spiritual vow

Once we have a vow, we also need conviction. This means having something we want to do and believing we can work toward it. When I used to guide Fu Mo practitioners in training, I would teach them to tell themselves each day that they could share positive energy and help others move away from distress caused by negative energy and emotions. Even when difficulties arose, they could believe that as long as they did not give up, they could keep looking for solutions. These words were a way to develop confidence in helping others. Actual practice and action still had to follow.

How do I choose a spiritual teacher?

• genuine teacher
• false teacher
• teacher

What matters to me is whether practice broadens our hearts and helps us better understand other people's circumstances. This does not mean practitioners can never be angry. I still have emotions myself and keep asking myself to notice negative states promptly and make adjustments. But persistent volatility and narrow-mindedness call for a serious look at whether the compassion we learn from the deities and Buddhas is actually being applied to ourselves.

When life goes badly, how can I find a next step through setbacks?

• setbacks
• difficulties
• adversity

Is the original method not working, or do you have no idea what comes next? Do your abilities need strengthening, or do the same emotions keep pulling you back? Describing the difficulty clearly helps reveal where adjustment can begin. If you cannot find a way forward, talk with family or friends. From a spiritual perspective, difficulties reveal our desires and life lessons. In daily life, the practical matters still need handling, and finding a direction must still be followed by action.

What is the wisdom to discern right from wrong?

• wisdom
• discernment
• judgment

Knowledge and everyday common sense both help judgment. When I said, 'Even if you lack knowledge, at least watch television,' I was reminding people to keep learning. At the same time, settle your emotions, understand the background and sequence of events, and consider whether someone is describing personal experience, advice for a particular situation, or a principle applicable elsewhere. Suspecting everything and declaring a problem from one clue can make life very difficult. The skill to develop is seeing clearly, rather than continual suspicion.

How can I handle anger and resentment?

• being angry
• anger
• rage

When adjusting my emotions, I ask whether the other person acted deliberately or accidentally. If they deliberately want to anger me, why fall into the trap? If it was accidental, can I forgive? A child bumping into you accidentally and an adult doing it intentionally feel different. Those who understand more can show more consideration for those who do not yet understand. Also learn what you may and may not do, practice steadying the mind, and understand the situation better. These are places to learn ethical discipline, concentration, and wisdom.

How can I stay positive without passing negativity on to others?

• positive energy
• negative energy
• positivity

First notice your negative state, then find a way to adjust it so it does not keep affecting you and others. Sadness and hurt can be expressed, and you can seek understanding. Still, notice whether your words help someone understand your needs or simply direct anger at them. Spiritual practice involves gradually changing our temper and emotions so that what we share is positive energy.

Why are good intentions misunderstood, and how can I explain myself clearly?

• misunderstanding
• misinterpretation
• expression

Problems that need identifying can still be identified. When I say scolding creates negative energy, I am reminding people, from the perspective of spiritual energy, to notice emotions in expression. Even correct content can hurt when full of attacks and abuse. State facts, reasons, and views clearly. Discussing a matter needs to be distinguished from attacking a person emotionally.

How can I prevent a conflict from escalating?

• conflict
• arguments
• quarreling

First notice your emotions instead of focusing only on winning. Deliberately saying something you know will hurt another person is often venting rather than helping resolve the immediate problem. If the other person is angry too, the dispute may become increasingly serious.