How did I begin practice without prior spiritual perceptions?

Originally, I had no ability to communicate with spirits, and I was not someone who could see or hear another world from childhood. As a child, I first worshipped Guanyin Bodhisattva with my parents. Only after later encountering seated meditation did I gradually experience qi movement, spirit movement and contact with my original spirit.

My mother was very devout. We worshipped the Bodhisattva at home, so I naturally joined in and learned to recite the Buddha’s name, scriptures and mantras. When visiting Shilin Night Market in the past, I loved seeing the little deity figurines and often brought one home. Looking back now, I feel that perhaps there was already some affinity. At the time, however, I had no special spiritual perceptions. I simply liked them.

I truly began meditating after leaving military service. During my service, I met a junior fellow serviceman whose family worshipped the Nine Heavens Mysterious Lady. Through that connection, I received much guidance for my life, including reminders to care about my mother. Feeling that I had received help and should visit to offer thanks, I asked my parents to travel south with me. At the temple, I saw people meditating and doing spirit movement. I was curious and asked whether I could try sitting for a while.

On that first occasion, I had not been sitting long before my waist began moving my body in large rotations. My eyes were initially closed, but I opened them in fright. My body continued turning, so I cried out, and the junior serviceman and the others came over to look. Eventually, because I was nervous, I stood up and stopped sitting. Someone called it spirit movement at the time. I did not understand it then, and only later came to understand that this had been an experience of qi movement.

I truly began spirit movement later while practising at a senior female fellow practitioner’s home. If I remember correctly, there had been about two years of meditation and nurturing qi in between. By then, my hands were full of the sensation of qi, but I kept thinking that spirit movement should involve some force moving them by itself, so I did not dare move my hands. After she reminded me, I tried raising them, and different movements began. I realised that in some respects my own expectations and lack of understanding had been holding me back.

Having a response did not mean that I understood everything at the time. Early on, I had many questions about qi and spirits. Often, when I asked, I was told that I would understand later. I even became angry about that and could only continue seeking answers myself. My habit is to try things and experience them first. But when the actual experience differs from what was originally said, or when I truly do not understand something, I still ask questions.

Along the way, that original desire to thank the deity led me onto a path I had never expected. This is my own story. The strong reaction during my first meditation and the roughly two years of development afterwards are experiences and memories from that time. Other people’s paths into spiritual practice may not be the same.