How can I cherish the present while facing impermanence, death, and regret?

We do not know how long life will be or what the next moment will bring. Make good use of the words you can still say and the care you can still express. Cherishing the present does not mean disregarding the future. It means considering whether you are living attentively, and whether the people and things you truly care about remain only in your heart, always waiting until later.

As a student, I also had someone I liked but never expressed it. Years later, I still felt regret and wondered what would have happened if I had spoken then. Of course, nobody can know how it would have turned out. But facing your feelings honestly and expressing them appropriately can make it easier to accept the outcome and let go, even if it is not what you hoped, instead of remaining trapped in an old 'what if.'

When discussing death, a fellow practitioner understood passing away as the beginning of another life. From that perspective of faith, departure is more than fear and the unknown, and a different way of thinking can help us face it. Birth, aging, illness, and death are lessons we will encounter sooner or later. We can gradually come to understand them while keeping in mind the people we can still care for now.

The pandemic also showed us how difficult some changes in life are to foresee. Make the preparations you should. For matters beyond your capacity that worry cannot help, avoid continually exhausting yourself. If you feel physically unwell, still seek the medical care and examinations needed. Caring for yourself and making use of what you can do now is living in the present.

When my grandmother died during my junior high school years, I saw my father cry for the first time. He said he wished his mother could get up and scold or even hit him again, as long as she did not disappear. That grief at losing a loved one has stayed with me whenever I speak about cherishing people. Their continued presence is precious. Everyday quarrels and things we dislike should not become the whole of how we see someone. While we can still spend time together and express care, make more of that opportunity.

What deserves cherishing also includes a life in which we can work, express our thoughts, and choose our faith. News of others experiencing oppression and suffering made me appreciate more deeply that the freedom and stability I take for granted are not available everywhere. Recognizing how precious they are makes me more willing to care for daily life and share kindness with those who are suffering.

From a spiritual perspective, I have also considered that regrets accumulating in the heart may gradually become attachments we cannot release, and may even draw the soul back to experience life again. This is my understanding within my belief in reincarnation. Returning to this lifetime, I therefore hope people will face their hearts honestly, live and experience life attentively, and leave fewer regrets unspoken inside.

Cherishing people also includes those with whom we later lose contact. I was close to some primary school classmates and stayed in touch through junior high school and junior college. Later, we married and became busy with life. Calls stopped, and contact gradually faded. Looking back, I still feel some regret. While you can still be with family, friends, and colleagues, do not always assume there will be plenty of opportunities later.

When I worked in insurance, I delivered death benefit payments. Families thanked me for the help, but once a person was gone, no amount of money could bring that life back. The sadness and helplessness resembled what I later felt when helping families with matters after a death. Express love in time. Even if you do not live together, a phone call or message can bring your care to family members.

YOYO reminded us that we do not have to be one hundred percent ready before expressing care or doing what we hope to do. What can be done safely can begin first and be adjusted gradually. I agree. Waiting continually for the ideal moment may mean missing it instead. When you think of caring for someone, put that care into action rather than leaving only 'I will do it later.'

People often expect something better next or assume tomorrow will leave more time, forgetting that the person in front of them may be missed from then on. Other people's regrets remind us to treat well those we can still love and cherish. Do not be moved only while hearing a story, then return to daily life and let the opportunities to be together pass again.

During one retreat, I felt deeply how precious it was to have this life. In my belief in reincarnation, souls come and go, and being born human is not something to take for granted. Having loved ones and family alongside us in this life is also a precious connection. What I most wanted to carry back into daily life was to cherish every day I am alive and the people with whom I can still spend time.

When discussing a seriously ill person who began organizing words to leave for the family, I thought about how many things need not wait until the end to be said. We were recounting someone else's story, not saying that such preparations would necessarily improve an illness. We do not know how much time remains. We can give serious attention to whom we can care for now and what we want to make clear.

Some reminders lie in small neighborhood shops. Dao Xing and I discussed bookstores we had passed since childhood and noodle stalls we loved. We assumed they would still be there next time, yet they might gradually close because the owners were aging or unwell. My memories of Shilin differed from Dao Xing's memories of Taichung and Puli, but both showed us that familiarity does not mean something will never change.

As a child, my grandmother also took me to a rice noodle shop I continued to enjoy later. Returning was not necessarily a deliberate act of remembrance, but I knew it was a familiar place I liked. So while an experience remains possible and within your means, make use of the opportunity to visit, do something, or try it. Cherishing does not mean waiting until something disappears before regretting it, nor does it mean ignoring reality and demanding to have everything immediately.

Once, after my son lost a soccer match, I rushed to criticize him, upsetting him until he cried. Looking back now, my greatest regret is not having found another way to encourage him and be there for him. He later said he no longer remembered it, but I still do. It reminds me to do better in how I speak and spend time with my children now.

We cannot return to that past moment, but we can still reflect and adjust from now on. Making good use of the time we still have together does not mean pretending the past never happened. It means not remaining only in regret and letting present opportunities for care be delayed again.