Parenting and Family
How can we preserve New Year intentions while getting along with family who view customs differently?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
New Year customs carry intentions, but also consider how your household lives today and what matters to elders. Times, family arrangements, and gender roles are changing, so every household need not follow one pattern. Yet personally seeing no difference should not mean disregarding family feelings.
Staying up expresses auspicious wishes for elders' blessings and longevity. Some consider it complete after midnight and then rest. I said this is acceptable according to arrangements; staying until dawn is not obligatory. Earlier nights were darker, giving New Year's Eve illumination special symbolism. I understand personal views as inner energy and shared customs and habits as outer energy. Collective auspicious belief has influence. This concerns faith and custom, not a medical promise of added lifespan.
Timing visits to the wife's family also needs communication. Some couples now live there and return to the husband's family on the second day, showing varied arrangements. Understand and respect traditional elders' views, while husbands share more responsibility for communication. Where longstanding in-law differences create conflict, I have suggested considering separate homes. This does not mean one person must keep enduring indefinitely.
New Year originally offers a rare reunion. Once elders have passed, everyone's separate work and families often make gathering harder. Treasure reunion meals that remain possible. Arguments about which day to return should not lose the happiness and harmony the gathering was meant to bring.
Holiday visits are not limited to the first day. Visiting relatives and friends, offering greetings, and exchanging blessings throughout the holiday strengthen affection. During the pandemic, some postponed returning to spare family worry. If outings truly cannot be arranged, that is fine too. Begin with actual personal and family needs and feasible time together, rather than create pressure through outward form.