Relationships
How can we settle ourselves when afraid of having no relationship?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
Without a partner, loneliness can genuinely be painful. You do not have to pretend that you need no companionship. Yet life is more than a relationship. Gradually find activities that interest you and deserve your effort, and practice spending time with yourself, so your emotional life does not consist only of sinking lower.
Also examine your expectations and how you meet people. I met four women with good personal circumstances who went everywhere together and hoped for partners with even better circumstances. I suggested making more friends rather than always remaining a group of four. We also discussed how expectations on both sides could make meeting a partner harder. That was a discussion of those cases, not a claim that wealthy men only love younger, more beautiful people. When you meet someone you genuinely like and get along with, cherish that rather than measure everything by income.
Quiet reflection and conversation with yourself are approaches we have discussed. When you feel helpless or unsure, prayer and drawing close to deities may also offer support. Stories of companionship in the program show that sometimes what a person needs is a listener and someone present. This does not mean loneliness will never return. It means life contains other possibilities, and your worth need not depend only on whether you have a partner.
Even in a relationship, do not burn yourself away completely in trying to light another person’s life. Both men and women need to cherish themselves, understand their wishes, and consider whether they can accommodate one another. If the other person is already married, look at whether they are seriously addressing that situation rather than leaving you waiting. We shared a young woman’s experience of being kicked and beaten by her partner during pregnancy, later leaving with her child, and finding a different relationship in a second marriage. That was her experience, not a guaranteed path for everyone. The point is to face actual harm and look more carefully at a person, beyond appearance alone. Religious assistance with fixation can be explored, but the joke about forty-nine sessions was not a guaranteed course of treatment.