Parenting and Family
How can we hold longing and regret after a loved one dies?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
When a loved one dies, you can cry and speak about your sadness and longing. You do not need to keep all the pain inside. Having someone to talk with and caring for one another provide strength. Words you cannot yet say to another person can also be shared with the deities of your faith, giving those feelings somewhere to be expressed.
I discussed a news report about Japan’s wind telephone. Its phone does not connect, and it claims no paranormal or mystical function; it gives people a place to express longing and unfinished words. The report described a man who had lost his wife and a grandmother helping her grandson tell his deceased grandfather about their lives. Both moved me. We also mentioned that the booth was originally created before March 11 for a relative who died of cancer, rather than only in response to the earthquake. This was a review of that news, not evidence of communication between the living and deceased. My idea of conveying remembrance through religious support was also not a service already open today.
Find a perspective you can accept and gradually face the loss. Through faith, for instance, you may bless your loved one’s journey toward a better place while continuing your own life. I value deliverance after death, but these few passages cannot establish any particular relative’s destination through blessings or religious understanding alone. Care for the departed without forgetting yourself, who is still living.
This also makes me feel more strongly that love should be expressed while there is time. If you feel love or gratitude toward parents, a partner, colleagues, or any life accompanying yours, you can express it now. Do not wait until the opportunity is gone to discover how much remained unsaid.
Some people caring for long-term illness have prepared themselves and understand death as an end to suffering. Others facing the same kind of loss through illness still find it very difficult to let go. Discussing different experiences helps us recognize that grief looks different for each person. Encourage gradual acceptance without using someone else’s pace to demand an immediate change in yourself.