Can childhood hitting lead to hitting one’s own children, and can the cycle end?

It can, and is not uncommon in my encounters. Many suffered being hit as children and vowed never to treat their children similarly, yet under adult pressure without an emotional outlet still struck them. This describes what I saw, not everyone who was hit. I have said changed environments or understanding may create different outcomes. It is a commonly observed pattern, not one hundred percent.

Looking the other way, I said parents who hit children very often experienced parental violence themselves; we saw many examples. One client mother hit her child when unhappy. We learned her childhood family favored boys and her father beat her without reason when drunk, leaving her to flee. As an adult, poor mood and lost control easily magnified matters. This describes common backgrounds among those using violence, not every childhood survivor’s future. I also said such elders sometimes do not want to act that way but cannot control themselves.

I understand this through energy as a faith perspective, not a medical explanation. Children naturally love parents and expect protection. Harm from those same parents can collapse values and weaken inner strength. Negative energy from blows remains like a habitual tendency, emerging later under similar emotion. Someone may hate the treatment yet become that kind of parent. I said this was not about DNA but energy’s effect within the person. I also mentioned a psychological account: after hitting, people justify it as love and wanting improvement, removing guilt and rationalizing violence into a vicious cycle.

Effects do not always become hitting. A better outcome involves adults understanding and gradually releasing the past. A worse one leaves negative impressions affecting emotional management and creating forceful, intense relationships. I have also seen another direction: two friends constantly apologized and were excessively polite, later revealing they had needed obedience to avoid childhood beatings. An elder became accustomed to blows and resisted only by staring without crying, later tolerating pain strongly. I felt this was pitiful emotional suppression. Someone on the program also described friends fearing or distrusting marriage and relationships after childhood violence. These were encountered examples, not universal outcomes.

Accounts of whether every childhood beating leaves a wound also differed. Describing myself, I said I was the eldest of three brothers and hit most by my mother, but later understood her expectations and care and affirmation elsewhere, so did not feel scars remained. I also felt her hitting did not reach domestic-violence severity, unlike her father’s more severe treatment of her. That was my view of personal experience. On another occasion, I said it did not seem a major trauma, yet remembering it probably meant some trauma remained. I also described a high-pressure maternal environment and significant influence from upbringing, alongside many clients with childhood beating trauma. Others said almost everyone in their generation was hit without all necessarily being wounded, while some felt sadness or discomfort because physical and mental conditions vary.

We also discussed personality. Optimistic people may still be affected by childhood shadows but show it less. In energy terms, influence differs in degree. An optimistic friend appeared normal in divination, yet later we learned family hitting might have continued into adulthood, even recently. Childhood trauma inevitably leaves some traces in this account, but optimism may reduce damage. Others suppress inward matters so serious difficulties appear mild.

Repetition is not necessary for a lasting trace. We used an example of a loving father giving a hundred presents but once losing control and hitting his daughter, then apologizing. She might remember for life because painful events stay vivid. I recalled being called home from reading comics to eat and being hit after only a few minutes of play. It now seems minor, yet remains vivid. I later recognized this as trauma to some degree: one sad moment can remain hidden a long time. Participants also said parents may act thoughtlessly and consider it minor while children regard it deeply, their immature minds judging parental affection through being hit or not. Conversely, isolated rather than repeated harm may have less extensive effects and allow later optimism. Repeated harm continually accumulates negative energy and greater influence. These were discussed views, not identical experiences for everyone.

For those wishing not to repeat it, several matters arise. First is awareness: a participant said noticing an urge to hit after being treated that way requires quick recognition. Second is ordinary practice. I also become furious when triggered, which is normal, but steady myself at critical moments. Pause three minutes before acting rather than follow emotion. Third, someone must end the cycle: parents knowing the problem should face and address it rather than pass negativity to children. Participants said willingness and a real first step matter, though many avoid facing it. One practitioner had heard of relatively few Taiwanese counseling groups led by trained people. A former colleague attended a group of more than ten with a teacher for a month or two and usually saw some change in thinking.

If you are still being hit, I said ending the chain requires courage to reject violence. Being hit throughout childhood and merely accepting it in adulthood makes breaking it difficult. Leaving the original home may be necessary to interrupt negativity before another generation is affected. This is not unfilial abandonment. If unable to resist now, leave first; after growth, understanding, and an end to the other person’s violence, consider repairing the relationship. Remaining without leaving may simply perpetuate a negative situation.

Another path involves understanding the previous generation, from my experience. My mother grew up with domestic violence, and one childhood beating from her stayed vivid. Later cultivation and client interactions helped identify my emotions’ origins and understand her response: she had been hurt young without anyone teaching her how to handle it. I gradually changed, released resentment, and addressed my own part. I also said violent elders may themselves have been childhood victims who, unable to bear negative energy, later passed it on. Understanding their position may reduce resentment. This is my experience and view, not an excuse for violence. Someone also stated on the program that giving life does not give parents a right to hit you, with or without a reason.