Parenting and Family
Does refusing more money to an adult child mean parents do not love them?
English translation draft · Based on the Chinese article. This is not a word-for-word translation approved by Master Shengyuan.
If an adult understood to be capable of work continually seeks parental money, parents need to learn release. Not carrying every matter is not absence of love. It offers the child a chance to face their own life.
In my first year of chess divination, an older mother living through recycling asked about her fifty-year-old son’s work. He once did odd jobs but later neither worked nor helped her and scolded when denied money. I first asked whether poor health prevented employment. According to her account, it did not.
I advised keeping her hard-earned money, stopping continual payments, and considering separate living. She feared he would starve without money. That shows difficult parental attachment: even hardship does not remove concern. His refusal to carry responsibility and her inability to release kept both stuck.
Parents cannot accompany children forever. Shielding necessary challenges prevents developing skills that will still be needed later. This concerned that adult son believed able to work, not all people needing family help. Caring also means recognizing limits rather than sacrificing everything because a child always remains your child.