After being hit, should you first examine whether you did something wrong?

Do not begin by taking responsibility for being hit. Even if there are relationship problems, they cannot justify the other person hurting you with violence. When danger is already present, protect yourself first, rather than continually wondering whether your shortcomings caused them to strike you.

Some abusers say they became jealous and acted this way because they love and care about you so much. The person hearing this may instead blame themselves: perhaps they did not explain coming home late clearly enough, or talking to someone caused a misunderstanding. When discussing this, I strongly agreed with the principle that love cannot justify violence. Such explanations cannot make harm reasonable.

As for what violence means, we recounted an article on domestic abuse on the program: whether between partners or between parents and children, using force for the bigger to bully the smaller or the strong to oppress the weak is violence.

The same applies within families. Parents giving children life does not mean they may harm them. Home should protect people, yet for some, it is precisely where they suffer most. If you are old enough and able to distance yourself from someone who continually harms you, give greater consideration to your own life and leave danger behind. You cannot keep enduring simply because the other person is family.

We also recounted a news story on the program in which the person involved advised other women: if you really are in an abusive relationship, be brave and leave. Do not silently endure, and do not let silence encourage violence. I thought this was very well put, because silence really can allow violence to grow.