Is it all my fault if someone becomes angry when I remind them to repay a loan?

It is not necessarily your fault. If someone borrowed money and you remind them to repay it, their anger does not mean you should take all the responsibility upon yourself. Look at the original transactions and agreement rather than ending up feeling guilty yourself.

Dao Shun shared an experience from working in a shop at eighteen or nineteen. A frequent visitor gradually became familiar with Dao Shun and began borrowing one or two hundred dollars at a time without ever repaying it. After this had accumulated for a while, Dao Shun gently brought it up. The person actually became angry and smashed things in the shop.

Being young at the time, Dao Shun first wondered whether the tone had been wrong, whether they had looked too stern, or whether they should never have asked for repayment at all. When the borrower described their difficulties, Dao Shun also felt as though asking had put them under great pressure. Later, a colleague offered reassurance and mentioned hearing about similar borrowing at other shops. Only then did Dao Shun gradually see that the other person's failure to repay could not all be turned into a fault for having reminded them.

This also reminds us to be cautious before lending money. Wanting to help is kind, but when money is involved, you still need to look back carefully at what happened. Someone else's emotions do not mean you must count all those feelings as your own fault.